In the last week, the subject of “what happened” has found it's way into several conversations. I so dislike the subject, I am sure ALL of us dislike the subject. It makes me sad, it hurts, and discourages me so. I have come to the conclusion that because this event remains as an unresolved issue, it is allowed to rear it's ugly head now and then, even to our dismay.
I have in the months and months that have past, explored possible means of putting this to rest. I always come to the same conclusion, to resolve it means to bring it up again, to tell the whole story, to name names, to cause additional hurt, and that is the last thing I want to do. So I have sat here and let it fester inside of me, taken the criticism from others, felt the hate others have for me, quietly taken the bad mouthing, the black balling, the de-friending, all of it. The last thing I want is for ANYONE to feel the things I have felt.
Yesterday my very good friend, gave me the answer. It is so simple, amongst all the hurt and pain, I guess I never saw the trees in spite of the forest. She may have said what she said to me in hopes that I would “get” the message and do what I am about to do. I don't know for sure, but I am very thankful to her for her friendship and wisdom.
I forgive everyone for all of it. EVERYONE including myself. I am sorry for any hurt or pain that was caused to anyone for anything related to this situation. It is a wonderful feeling to let it all go. It is the gift I am giving myself. I forgive you.
I found this quote :
Take it slowly. The deepest resentments are wrapped up in a lot of hurt and pain. We think we're protecting ourselves by not forgiving. Acknowledge that and go easy on yourself. Forgiveness means that you've decided not to let it keep festering inside even if it only comes up once in awhile. Forgiveness is a powerful yet challenging tool that will support and honor you, even in the most extreme circumstances.
Doc Childre and Howard Martin, The HeartMath Solution
I think this says a lot, well at least to me. So this is where I stand, I have granted my whole heart forgiveness for the ugly situation that happened.
"From failure we learn, from success, not so much." Aunt Billie, Meet the Robinsons.
I learned, I learned a lot, and now I will just .............
Keep moving forward ............
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6 comments:
Holly,
I am afraid that you don't quite understand the problem here. Instead of granting forgiveness you probably need to be asking for it if you truly want to be among the community again. I realize that you feel quite a bit of betrayal by your former letterboxing friends but they as well feel cheated and lied to.
I feel as though I can no longer bite my tongue. Things between you and others on Atlas Quest will never be the same, as you have stirred the pot a bit too much. I have heard both sides of the story, and tried to remain neutral. But it has become increasingly obvious that you've ticked a lot of people off and instead of apologizing, you do not see your faults and have instead decided it is therefore your duty to forgive the other side instead.
I'm sorry Holly, but you need to apologize if you so desire to be welcomed back... And for many, that still won't be enough, as the wound has been cut too deep.
Hope everything works out for you and you do not find offense in this response. I simply am offering advice I've based on many observations and whether you accept or ignore it is your choice.
Stay in touch,
~BOB~
Please see 4th paragraph, 3rd sentence. I believe it says: "I am sorry for any hurt or pain that was caused to anyone for anything related to this situation."
She has said she is sorry. Let's let it go!
Simply in Bob's defense.
No thats not an apology for her own wrong doing. It seems instead to be saying she is sorry for pain from the situation that she thinks others caused.
I don't think a topic of what happened would keep making it into conversations as she says if attention didn't keep being drawn to the fact that something happened in the first place.
And...There is another documented side to this story
*hugs BOB*
The one not letting it go is the one that keeps bringing it up.
*well wishes*
:)
Holly is a good friend of mine, and this whole topic had turned me off of AQ and boxing for almost a yr. It seems to me there is a lot of high school attitude going on.
Whatever hapened, whoever is at fault....I think Holly was truly trying to move on, she says point blank in the post that she is sorry, and also that she is forgiving and moving on, I wish everyone that seems have bad feeling toward her would do so as well. If you don't want to like her fine, but please stop bad mouthing, as most moms teach, if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. If her post offends than don't read it... Don't comment on it, just ignore it.
Letterboxing should be fun...
I'm sorry if she hurt some people, but forgive and move on please!
And please don't feel the need to comment... will just fuel the fire..let me have the last word...FORGIVE
This I write now is not about forgiving. Everyone keeps begging someone to let it die.
Funny though that it keeps getting brought back up....by the same person... on Facebook, AQ, on blogger and in public...but not by those that seem to be accused of it on this end.
Sorry but it really is true.
The proof is in the posts.
Afterall... who posted it to this blog?
good night y'all.
that is all :)
A good way to put actions to your said apology would be silence about 'what happened'.
If you are not going to be silent, then start dragging names out, people are ready to be finished with this forever!
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